“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
I am grateful that I serve a loving God who will continue to love me in spite of my actions. That’s exactly why the words, grace and mercy, are used repeatedly in the Bible. It’s a reminder that there’s nothing we can do to win God’s favor or avoid His judgment. Only Jesus could take care of that matter. All we have do, as Jesus explains, is “…knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)
I haven’t acted or felt like a Christian for several days. My fifteen-year-old daughter and I had a major argument and I have done nothing but brood since the name-calling ended. Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was to sit in front of my computer and write today’s column. How could I write about Christian living when I knew I had not observed the Christian principles about which I write?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that anyone who is reading today’s column has experienced the same frustration. Even the Apostle Paul realized that he frequently fell short of God’s standards for living. “I do not understand what I do,” he tells us. “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:15,19)
When my daughter and I first had our argument, I went to bed and asked God to help me. I was bitter about some comments she had made and I knew that the answer to my problem could not come through bitterness. God doesn’t understand that emotion because bitterness is just another word for sin. Indeed, as long as I search for the right thing to do through an attitude of bitterness, God could not help me. That’s why the Apostle John says, “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God is him.’ (1 John 4:16) Love has no room for bitterness.
All week long I had a deep sense of conviction about our argument. I knew that I was as wrong in what I said to my daughter as she was in what she said to me. But my pride would not let me take the first step toward reconciliation. “She started it and she is the one who should take that first step, not me,” I said to myself.
I waited on God all week for help. All He did was convict me about my own actions. Why was He waiting for me to take that first step?
In his book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis has a chapter called, “The Greatest Sin in the World.” It’s an entire chapter on pride which Lewis ends by stating, “If you have read this and you’re convinced that this does not apply to you, then it certainly does apply to you.”
I finally realized why God had not offered any help. “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6) Oh sure, God would help me, but not until I understood what He meant when He said: “He who conceals his sin does not prosper, but whoever confesses them and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)
I now knew that the Christian thing to do was to take the first step and apologize. It was one of the hardest steps I’ve ever taken as a Christian. And while the fallout from our argument is far from over, God is back in the middle of things, so I’m trying to move over and let Him straighten things out. I may like it, but I know that “…in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
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