We Need To Reach Back When Friends Reach Out

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

Several years ago, I visited a church in my community. While waiting for the service to begin, I watched the orchestra ready itself for worship. A reader and friend of mine recognized me, came over and asked me for my continued prayers for him and his family. I was mildly startled by his plea because when I looked into his eyes, I noticed a deep sense of hopelessness that I had not seen before.

I had known my friend for several years and had watched him suffer from a back injury from the first day we met. He had not been able to work a great deal, had endured several operations, and explained to me that his doctors had recently told him that there was very little that could be done to help him.

As we talked, I couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to be on the brink of tears. He confided in me that his pain medication was beginning to change him and he did not like the change that he was seeing. I knew that he was deeply worried about how continued use of his medicine would affect his relationship with his wife and his family.

As the choir began to stream into the sanctuary, I continued to listen to his story. He finally told his doctors that he could no longer take the pain medication in spite of the fact that his pain is unbearable. His plight helped me to understand the fear that often accompanies the realization that some answers to our problems can only come supernaturally from God.

There couldn’t have been a better opportunity for me to have shown Christian love for this friend than by stopping right there and praying for him. I didn’t because the service was beginning and prayer at that moment seemed a little awkward, for me, not for him.

I know what Mark Twain meant when he said, “Most people are bothered by those passages in Scripture that they cannot understand. The Scripture which troubles me most is the Scripture I do understand.” The fact is my friend could not have reached out much farther. How can God accomplish His purpose for me and for my friend if I am not willing to be an instrument through which He can work? I am haunted by the reality that the prayer to which God may have responded was the one I didn’t say for my friend that morning.

My pastor has repeatedly reminded our church that we are all ministers. He’s right. So many times we expect our pastors to handle the hopeless situations. But that’s not what God expects, which is why Paul says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12)

A pastoral counselor once told me that my own relationship with God is also affected by my refusal to obey what His Word commands. In other words, every time I fail to pray for a friend, extend a helping hand, or simply offer an encouraging word, I miss an opportunity to know a little more about how God can work in my own life. While other opportunities will come, the lessons from missed opportunities will never be learned.

Someone once said, “I used to think that God’s gifts were on shelves one above the other, and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we could reach them. I now find that God’s gifts are on shelves one beneath the other. It is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower; that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts.”